Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
