Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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