I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize