he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
