i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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