So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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