whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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