why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
