Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
