Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
