one might say we're banned from that church
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
