woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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