I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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