so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
