i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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