You're completely useless in the revolution.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
