i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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