YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was like having sex with a tree stump
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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