I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
