My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
