you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
