have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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