So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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