whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
