If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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