Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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