If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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