Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We're too hungover to prance.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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