she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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