I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Welp...herpes.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
