I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize