come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
In America we eat man semen.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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