I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
