I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
