Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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