hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
