I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize