I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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