remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
