I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
