look no pants
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
