READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
