so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
