walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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