Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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