Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
