wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Terrible idea I love it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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