Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
