I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm at about main and main street
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
