I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
