eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
