Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
