Whod you bang
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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