Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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