you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
