Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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