help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
