How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think people are normalizing furries
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
