its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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