everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
