elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
